The Beginning After the End
by Serendipity07
Summary: The final battle with Naraku has ended, the Shikon Jewel has been destroyed, and Inuyasha and Kagome have finally confessed their love to each other. Everything should be perfect and simple, but unfortunately life isn't always that way. The future brings with it many changes for the young couple, can their love withstand it?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters in this story**

It was over.

Finally.

Naraku had been destroyed and the jewel along with him. Kagome had chosen right and made the one wish that could destroy the Shikon Jewel. In the process her and Inuyasha had at last confessed their true feelings to each other and Kagome had made the decision to stay with him in the Feudal Era. At long last they could be together and have the happy ending they both so desired. But alas things were never meant to be so simple.

_A few weeks after Naraku's death…_

"Sango, have you and Miroku decided where yet?" Kagome asked of her good friend.

"Humph. I can't decide…I'd like to have the ceremony back home, out of respect for my family, but it seems wrong to have the beginning of the rest of our lives together surrounded by so much death…" Her voice trailed off. "Maybe here in the village? Lady Kaede could marry us?"

Sango and Miroku had at last decided to tie the knot and were to be married within the next few weeks. They had been busy the past few weeks since Naraku's death planning, scheduling, sending invitations, and 'enjoying' their time together. Sango had just announced she was already pregnant!

She turned to look at Kagome asking hesitantly, "Have you and Inuyasha talked about…marriage?"

Kagome looked down at her hands, folding them neatly in her lap. She didn't know how to respond, of course she loved Inuyasha and they had spent every night together since Naraku's death, but the topic never came up. She didn't know if the tradition was different in the demon culture or if he was unsure of it himself.

"I-" she began, but Sango shook her head placing her hand on Kagome's shoulder seeing the emotion on her face.

"It's ok, it might be different for demons, I'm sure it will come up, he loves you very much you know", she said reassuringly, the comfort in her eyes warming Kagome.

She smiled a large toothy grin, "Yea, you're right. Nothing to worry about! And we have so much to plan for yours! I absolutely can't wait!" She practically squealed grabbing the papers with the wedding plans on them to gush over the details.

_In the forest…_

"So, Miroku are you really going to settle down? You know this means no more women, just the one!" Inuyasha said hitting his hand against his friend's back while laughing to himself.

Miroku raised an eyebrow, his face completely serious, "Inuyasha, you know I only have eyes for my dear Sango, I'm lucky enough she said yes when I asked," he tried to sound mature, but the lecher side of him couldn't help itself, "And I'll have you know the sex is great." He closed his eyes thinking back to all the recent nights not spent sleeping with a perverted smile.

Inuyasha hit him over the head, a scowl on his face, "C'mon, save that shit for the bedroom."

"Have you and Kagome? I mean you've spent-" He broke off with wide eyes as Inuyasha shuffled his feet uncomfortably kicking a rock and shielding his face.

"You haven't! What's taking you so long?!"

"Feh, just because we sleep in the same bed doesn't mean we have to jump each other's bones," Inuyasha's tone harsh, then softened, "I don't want to push her…"

"You know she probably thinks you don't want to, or worse that you think something is wrong with her."

"What? Why would she think something stupid like that?" But the words rang in his head making his ears twitch. With a scowl he realized Miroku was probably right. He imagined Kagome whining to Sango '_He probably doesn't want me! He hasn't tried anything! Miroku can't keep his hands off of you!' wailing as tears gathered at her eyes. _He winced at the image. A woman crying in general was enough to upset him, but Kagome was much worse, the smell of her tears upset his stomach and made him twitch uncontrollably.

"So what do I do?" He sighed defeated and actually unsure of how to go about this.

"Well, you start kissing her and take your hand..." He stopped short seeing Inuyasha freeze.

"I know how to do _it_ stupid! I mean how do I go about getting there," face palming himself.

Miroku winked, "Here my friend let me help you," leading Inuyasha back to village.

_Later that night…_

"Kagome will you come with me? But you have to wear this." Inuyasha mumbled throwing a scarf at her.

Her eyes widened as she picked up the silk scarf and looked up at him with a big grin, herbs scattered all over her lap and on the floor before her. Inuyasha sighed with love _'She looks so beautiful…' _He forgot sometimes just how much her smile could warm his heart. All of his nervousness flew out the door with that one look. She was his Kagome; he had nothing to be afraid of.

"Inuyasha, what's this about?" She questioned teasingly.

"It's a surprise, you don't want me to ruin it now, do you? Here stand up and I'll tie it," he grabbed her hand pulling her up flush against him. She buried her head in his chest breathing his scent in deeply butterflies fluttering about in her stomach. He heard her pounding heartbeat and chuckled, his chest vibrating with the sound.

Softly turning her around he knotted the scarf behind her head completely shielding her eyes. He dragged one hand through her soft hair reveling in the texture of it, _'Guess all that bathing is a good thing,' _smiling at the habit he had once thought was so absurd.

One hand holding hers, he gently guided her out of the hut only to pick her up bridal style and begin running through the woods. Kagome curled up in his arms wondering what in the world the hanyou could be up to. Surprises weren't really his forte. Once he did surprise her with flowers, but unknown to him there was a bee in the bouquet. Kagome giggled to herself remembering Inuyasha running around chasing the bee yelling _'Iron Reaver, Soul Stealer!' _all because it stung her on the nose. Once he'd tired himself out, he had come over, picked her up and put a gentle kiss on her nose. Instantly she had felt the pain receding, _'My saliva, it has healing powers, your sting…it should be gone.'_ She still remembered the bright red blush spreading across his cheeks. Shyly Kagome had reached up kissing him on his cheek only to deepen his blush. Molten gold stared into chocolate brown until both looked away blushing bright red.

They hadn't even kissed yet. They slept in the same bed, Inuyasha always holding her, but he hadn't tried anything more. At first she had been grateful, but now she was dying to feel his lips against hers. Her body warmed at the thought and a big smile crossed her face. Inuyasha felt the heat against his body as he ran and looked down at the smiling girl, _'Now what is she thinking about…' _excited for the surprise he had planned for her. He slid to a stop suddenly, at last they were there.

Inuyasha softly placed Kagome on the ground and reached up to untie the scarf from around her head only to replace it with his hands as he stood behind her. He felt her cheeks pull taut against his hands as she giggled.

"Inuyasha what are you doing?" She placed her tiny hands on top of his large ones trying to pry them from her face.

He leaned down next to her face, his hot breath against her ear making her shiver. "Shhh, Kagome calm yourself. You'll see soon love," the gentle whisper made her insides melt. _'He's never called me that…' _she thought nervously.

Inuyasha guided her towards the blanket he had put out earlier and helped her down towards it. Her heart hammered against her chest with an excitement and anxiousness so intense, she felt she might burst from it. On her knees, she felt him pull her into his lap. Kagome turned her head towards where she believed his face to be, imagining his golden eyes gazing down at hers.

Finally Inuyasha removed his hands.

His face mere inches from hers Kagome gasped softly an intense heat flooding her body. Amber eyes glowered into hers with an intensity and… uncertainty. Gently he pushed his nose against hers, softly bumping her face affectionately.

"Look," he whispered blowing his hot breath on her face and moving his head in the direction of their surroundings. Kagome had to use all of her self-control to pull her eyes from his, but once she did she was not disappointed.

"It's beautiful," she breathed out. They were on the edge of the woods, lying on a red blanket in a patch of soft grass. Before them was an outlook with a view of the entire forest and mountains in the background. The sun was just beginning to set, rays of red, orange, and yellow bleeding across the sky grandly. One tree, huge with branches extending so far into the sky she felt they could reach out and grab the wistful clouds, extended over them.

"Look Inuyasha! The village! It looks so small from up here. We're so far… " She trailed off still astounded by the view as purple spilled into the sunset.

Inuyasha grabbed her chin, turning her face to his, "I wanted to be sure we had some privacy…" Kagome's heart skipped a beat, "so I could do this."

He broke the short distance and pressed his lips against hers. Kagome's heart fluttered rapidly as she leaned into the kiss, feeling electricity against her lips leaving them tingling. Inuyasha broke the kiss only for Kagome to mewl in disappointment.

"You have no idea how long I have waited to do that," he smiled cupping her cheek and kissing her nose.

"You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to do that!" She exclaimed her eyes glaring frustratingly. "Now do me a favor…" he nodded his head, "and kiss me again Inuyasha. Kiss me until you make sure I will never forget the feel of your lips against mine." A mischievous smile graced her lips sending his heart racing.

"My love, how could I deny your request," slightly baring his teeth and grabbing her head to place his lips upon hers once more.

Fire flew through their bodies as their hands entangled themselves in each other's hair. Their lips fit together in absolute perfection, moving in synch as if they were built to be together, born for each other. A soft moan escaped Kagome's lips as Inuyasha ran his tongue along her bottom one asking for entrance. She willingly opened her mouth, giving him full access. He delved in, deepening the kiss as he swiped his tongue against hers exploring the cavern. Kagome ran her hands down his chest fully appreciating his cut body, his muscles rippling against her hands. Tongues battled against each other, their hot breath mixing and mingling until each was overcome and dizzy from the other's scent and taste. _'How did it take me so long to do this, I can't get enough of her,' _Inuyasha thought finally coming up for air.

Breathing heavily they made eye contact. Molten amber into deep chocolate. Kagome suddenly jumped Inuyasha throwing him back on the ground with her falling onto his chest. She giggled and moved her lips to cover his again, the tingling in them sending electric jolts down her entire body. Inuyasha took full advantage of his position sliding his arms up and down her body, feeling her through her clothes. He pushed one hand underneath her shirt making Kagome gasp with the feel of his cold fingers against her warm skin. He looked to her a questioning look in his eyes. Kagome nodded smiling, she wanted all of him same as he wanted all of her.

Continuing her attack on his lips, Inuyasha put both hands under her shirt making her shiver as he traced her navel, her ribcage, and then brought his hands up to her bra. He couldn't figure out how to get past the damn thing, girls here didn't wear contraptions like that. Kagome giggled at him as his eyebrows furrowed adorably. Reaching behind her back she unhooked it letting it fall from her body. Suddenly Inuyasha sat up, Kagome now straddling his lap. He gently tugged at her shirt until she raised her arms so he could pull the fabric from her body. She quickly covered her breasts from him, suddenly shy.

"Shh, let me see. I want to see all of you…" he whispered tugging at her arms. Slowly Kagome lowered them. He breathed in heavily at the sight of her, very anxious to see the rest of her.

Kagome suddenly pulled at his shirt making a face and whispering suggestively, "It's only fair you take yours off too." Inuyasha pulled his shirt off a gasp leaving her lips. She had seen him with it off; only usually he was covered in cuts and bruises or had a gaping hole in his stomach. But this, this was different. He was hers to explore. She placed her hands against his chest, running them down his muscles and tracing his body. Inuyasha growled in approval and leaned into her touch as hot fire followed her hand. He followed suit and placed his own hands upon her chest, tracing, massaging, squeezing, exploring. Kagome opened her mouth with pleasure as he played with her nipple and leaned down to place his mouth upon it sucking and nibbling. She threw her head back moaning and entangled her fingers in his silver mane.

When he stopped she met his eyes and breathed out heavily, "Inuyasha, I want to-."

He cocked his head to the side asking, "Kagome are you sure? We don't have to."

"Yes, I am sure. Please, Inuyasha." Her voice practically begging him to take her there was convincing enough. Leaning forward he pulled at the zipper holding her skirt up so she could kick it off. Undressing himself completely, he looked up gasping when he realized Kagome had already removed her panties and thrown them in the pile of clothes.

They stood there for a minute just staring at each other in their most natural state, love pouring from one into the other. Inuyasha's body was perfect, muscular, cut, and strong. Kagome couldn't wait to lay her hands on him again, until her gaze travelled further down gasping at the immense size of him. _'I will definitely be feeling that tomorrow,' _she thought giggling at the thought, a blush growing on her cheeks.

"Kagome, you're absolutely beautiful," he whispered grabbing her hand and pulling her against his chest. They played with each other, feeling their bodies, memorizing every touch. Inuyasha leaned forward kissing her neck and playing with her chest eliciting a moan from Kagome. He took one hand off her breast and touched her core gently, making her hips buck in response. She pulled her head up breathing heavily to look at him as he explored that area of her. Feeling how wet she was he smiled, glad to know he was doing something right. Softly he entered one finger, feeling deep within her and rubbing her clit with his thumb. Kagome bucked against his hand moaning loudly in pleasure. He inserted another finger and then another trying to prepare her. Her eyes glazed over as she felt an intense fire burning through her body extending from her core, building and building until he pressed hard against her clit making the inferno erupt within her. Her whole body shook with pleasure and she cried out quivering as wave after wave crashed on her. Once the intense feeling of pleasure had passed, she looked at Inuyasha blushing only to pant as he pulled out his fingers and licked them.

"Mhm, Kagome you taste amazing, I can't wait to explore you in other ways," a mischievous look in his eyes. Suddenly, she thought she caught something else, something that made her body shake with something other than pleasure. His warm golden eyes made all the worry slip from her mind though as he laid her down on the blanket.

He laid himself on top of her and moved himself near her entrance poking her lightly. His lips once more on top of hers with closed eyes as he began to enter her. His size made her whimper in pain but it quickly turned into pleasure as he slowly slid in and out of her. Inuyasha buried his head in her neck grazing the skin there with his fangs and kissing the tender area. He picked up the pace, moving faster and faster. She felt so full and complete, there, with him. The pleasure raked up and down her body filling her again with that burning fire she felt sure was close to exploding.

Kagome leaned her head up to whisper in his ear, "Inuyasha, I love you."

His body jolted. A shock ran through him. A growl drifted from his lips vibrating against her neck. For some reason fear began to edge its way into Kagome as if her instincts were screaming at her.

'_Run.'_

Eyes wide open she watched as he turned his head to stare down at her. Her body shaking she cried out. Red eyes stared back into hers; red eyes that only saw red. Purple stripes ran jagged across his cheeks, his fangs growing larger and sharper, his claws becoming stronger and dagger like. He grabbed her thighs digging his nails deep into her, small streaks of blood beginning to trickle from her. Fear clouded her mind as she screamed and screamed pounding his chest with her fists trying to snap him out of it. But he grabbed her hands and holding them above her head, slashed across her soft stomach leavings deep gashes in the flesh. More blood, so much blood poured from her wounds. She didn't understand, _'Why Inuyasha! Why!" _

"Inuyasha! Stop! You're hurting me! I-I thought you loved me! Snap out of it!" she screamed as he dropped her arms and continued slashing at her body, his claws leaving shallow and deep gashes all along her arms and legs. He continued moving within her, in and out, in and out, in and out, but she no longer felt any pleasure at the movement. In desperation she threw herself up and grabbed his waist in a hug begging him to stop, to remember himself. But he ignored her and dug his claws back and forth across her back digging them in deep. Crying out she felt a rib break, snapping like a twig against his claws. Falling back on the grass Kagome thrashed her legs trying to get him off of her, but he was too strong and the more she fought the more he attacked her. A malicious gleam in his eyes and a terrible chuckle from his lips told Kagome she had lost him. She was going to die.

Tears gathered at her eyes and began to pour down her cheeks as swiftly as the blood poured from her body. He attacked her until she was covered in bruises, gashes, and blood. Her vision swam and black spots drifted across. She had lost too much blood. At least she was numb to the pain; she couldn't even feel it anymore as his claws swiped across her.

Finding his bloody red gaze, her soft chocolate eyes no longer held any fear, only love for the monster attacking her. That and acceptance. She raised one bloody hand with her last bit of strength to cup his cheek only to have him grip her wrist so hard he snapped the bone. She cried in pain, surprised she still had the strength to cry. Her vision growing black now, she felt herself drifting away, his blood-splattered face drifting away from her. She tried to hold on, maybe there was a chance, but she was so tired. Too tired. And with that Kagome gave into the blackness, her last feeling that of his fangs penetrating her neck, the only place he had not marred yet.

'_I still love you…Inuyasha…'_

**Let me know what you think! It's my first one so please be nice but I do appreciate any reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Inuyasha.**

The first thing he felt was an intense pounding in his head. Groaning loudly Inuyasha lifted a hand to grasp his forehead wincing at the pain. Golden eyes stared about confused. _'What happened? …Where am I?"_ trying desperately to collect his clouded thoughts. Suddenly he remembered. Kagome. Kissing her, holding her, they were about to- _'Where is she?!' _he thought scanning the area once he realized that she was not next to him. It was then he caught the scent.

Growling low and loud he leapt from the ground, anger, fear, and worry racing through his body making him tremble. The strong scent of her blood was everywhere in the clearing, a thick salty scent that made his stomach curdle and his breath catch in his throat.

"Kagome! Where are you? Kagome!" He shouted sprinting across the clearing only to stop when he saw her fallen figure.

He dashed to her side falling down upon his knees beside her broken body. A whimper erupted from his lips turning into a loud wail as he looked at her. She was still naked and covered from head to toe in long deep gashes and bruises. Her body was colored deep purple and red. Even her face, her beautiful face had a scratch from her temple to her left cheek.

"Kagome, who did this to you? Who hurt you? Why wasn't I here to protect you!?" He shouted despair lacing through his voice. Tears drifted from his eyes falling upon her as he picked her up and held her in his arms, his head buried in the crook of her neck.

_Thump…_

_Thump…_

_Thump…_

His head shot up. It was faint, but she had a pulse. There was still a chance he could save her. Quickly he leaned down and began to lick her wounds to prevent more blood loss. He had to get her to Kaede's; she could heal her, but first he needed to close these wounds before trying to move her.

As he cleaned her wounds he kept his ears tuned in to her pulse ensuring it still beat. His heart ached with each cut making him whimper again more tears spilling from his eyes. Some of her bones had been broken too; Kaede would have to set those, his saliva couldn't heal that. Where had he been? What had happened? He couldn't remember anything. Maybe he had been attacked from behind and knocked out? But it made no sense; he couldn't smell any one else, only his scent and that of Kagome._ 'What happened…'_

And then he saw it, the mark on her neck. In fact he smelled it before he saw it. The blood must have overpowered the powerful aroma, that's why he didn't smell it sooner. It was emanating the sweetest scent, a mixture of vanilla ice and burning embers. The smoky sweetness enveloped his nose in a tender way making him growl in pleasure, it was intoxicating. The wound had healed already. He had marked her. She was his mate. But if so then…

His mind furiously worked to put the pieces together, refusing to believe the aching truth. Inuyasha thought back to a conversation he had had with Myoga once Naraku had been killed.

_"You intend to make the young Kagome your mate now Inuyasha?" Myoga asked eyes closed._

_"Feh, of course I do. I love her, I won't risk losing her like I did Kikyo" thinking back to how he had failed the priestess, although now he was grateful for it, it meant that he had met Kagome, a woman melted his frozen heart and taught him to trust and love again._

_"Inuyasha I must warn you, there are certain risks that you would be taking if you were to follow through with this."_

_Inuyasha's ears shot up. "What do you mean flea?" demanding with a low growl._

_"Kagome is human and you are a hanyou, you contain demon blood in you along with human blood. The act could awaken your demon blood and since you cannot control it you could be putting Kagome in a very dangerous situation." Myoga opened one eye to stare at Inuyasha. _

_Blazing with anger Inuyasha retorted, "That would never happen! I love Kagome. I would never hurt her. Where did you get this rubbish from?"_

_"Often when mating demons will succumb to their most basic instincts, their demon blood awakening completely when the moment comes to mark their mate. A full-blooded demon can control that onrush of power, but as a hanyou you have not yet been able to control it. When your demon blood awakens you could very well kill the woman you love." _

_"What am I supposed to do then, just avoid her?" he demanded angrily, but actual fear penetrating him. He wouldn't, would he?_

_"I would recommend refraining from it for a while and practicing self control. Developing an inner strength so that when you feel your blood begin to awaken you are strong enough to push it back."_

_Inuyasha nodded his head understanding what he must do._

The pain hit him like an iron fist. His heart screamed against his chest, pouring shame, regret, and an incredible sadness for the woman lying in his arms. Ears laid flat against his head as he nuzzled her softly whispering, "I'm so sorry Kagome. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I knew better and still I put you in danger."

This was why he had refrained from touching her and even kissing her until he was sure. He knew once he started he wouldn't be able to stop. But tonight, he had thought that he was strong enough and he could battle the demon inside of him, but it seems that he wasn't and still isn't. He had nearly killed his Kagome. _'With these claws I nearly ripped her to pieces,' _glaring at his glinting nails still covered in blood. He knew what he must do.

Quickly he cleaned the rest of her wounds ensuring they were all closed completely. The bruises had disappeared with his tender care, but scars ran across her body marring her once untouched skin. His mark on her ran in jagged white lines all across her, not just the mark on her neck. He released a pained cry more tears gathering only to cascade down his cheeks. He gathered her clothes and redressed her gently. Once she was ready he picked up the still unconscious girl and carried her away from the blood stained clearing.

Running through the woods, Inuyasha was careful not to jostle her too much. Her wounds may be closed, but she had lost so much blood her skin ghostly pale. His ears still attuned to her jagged heartbeat.

_Thump…_

_Thump…_

_Thump…_

_…_

_Thump…_

They were getting longer and longer, the spaces between the beats. He quickened his pace, knowing she was on the brink of death. He had to hurry. He had to at least save her. She could not die.

"Please Kagome, hold on. Don't give up; please do not give into death. You were meant to live. Please hear my voice and stay with me…" he pleaded hoping somehow she could here him.

The village came into view and Inuyasha dashed up to Kaede's hut. Quickly he sprinted inside where Kaede was sitting around a fire cooking a pot of stew. Luckily Miroku and Sango were gone for a few days visiting her brother Kohaku. He couldn't bear the shame, the questions, and the knowing look in their eyes. He was a monster after all.

"Kaede, please, Kagome! She's been injured! I did my best to close the cuts, but she needs your care!" He shouted startling the older woman.

Quickly Kaede laid out a blanket for Kagome to lie down upon gesturing for Inuyasha to place her there. Gently he laid her broken body down, his eyes again burning from the tears. He bit them back; he had to stay strong for Kagome. This was not a time for crying.

"What happened Inuyasha? These cuts are deep. The girl is barely alive!" Kaede held her wrist getting her pulse. A sweat had formed over Kagome's forehead, " she has a fever. Hold her hand Inuyasha while I make the medicine and pat her head with this cloth." She handed him a wet cloth.

The hanyou sat beside Kagome still listening to her heartbeat and holding her now clammy hand. She was still so pale. Gently he patted her forehead with the cloth easing her pain slightly.

_'I'm a monster. How could I hurt the woman I love. I can't even control myself. I thought I would've been able to stop. I thought that my love for her would have been stronger than the bloodlust. I don't deserve her. She deserves someone who she can trust and she can be with completely.' _Desperate thoughts flitted about his head as he sat there.

For hours Inuyasha and Kaede tended to Kagome waiting patiently to see if she was strong enough to survive. Later that night her fever finally broke and she began to regain a little bit of the color in her cheeks. Kaede chose to start setting her broken bones back creating a sling for her wrist and wrapping her side. Upon closer inspection she saw the mark on her neck immediately recognizing it for what it was. She raised an eyebrow at Inuyasha, but chose not to ask. So he had mated the young girl. But what had happened in the woods? ….Worse had Inuyasha inflicted these wounds? She busied her hands with wiping the leftover mud and blood from Kagome. She knew the answer. She also knew the hanyou would never forgive himself. But for now at least Kagome was healing. She was going to make it.

"Inuyasha you can sleep. Kagome will make it. She's been incredibly strong. I am sure you can hear her strengthening heartbeat. " Inuyasha nodded his head with relief. He could hear the steady thump of her strong heart.

"I am going to stay with her Lady Kaede. But you should rest, I will watch over her."

Kaede took her leave, taking the hint that he needed time alone.

Once she had left Inuyasha lay down next to her nuzzling her side softly and pulling her body against him so they were cuddling. Her heartbeat jumped when he touched her making him smile. Inuyasha pushed a piece of her hair back behind her ear to stare at her face. "Oh Kagome, what have I done?" Despair clutched his chest. He pictured her soft brown eyes staring at him only instead of love they were filled with fear. Surely she would hate him after what he had done to her.

He whined placing his head in the crook of her neck to inhale the sweet scent of the mark. The scent made his head swim and pleasure enveloped him. She was his now as he was hers, there was no moving on. But maybe she had a chance, maybe she could if he-.

He didn't want to think about it. Just the concept of it made his heart ache and his stomach lurch. At least for tonight he would stay and hold her breathing in her scent the way he had always wanted to. At least for tonight he could stay with her. Amber eyes slowly closed as his breathing evened out. And like that Inuyasha drifted into sleep clutching the woman he loved as well as the woman he now knew he had to leave.

**This one was a little short, but the next one will be much longer! Please keep reviewing with feedback!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters.**

She slept for a few days flitting in and out of dreams.

The dreams were strange. She would feel an overpowering protective warmth surrounded by a warm pink light that held her close. Often she would giggle at the gentle tickling feeling of its warm embrace. It was soft and comforting, Kagome immediately recognized her miko powers welcoming it with open arms. When suddenly deep red darkness would seep between the pink lights bleeding through it and grabbing her limbs. Kagome could hear someone screaming high pitched and terrified only to realize it was she who was making the sound. Screaming at sharp claws and red eyes. Those eyes ate into her soul, but she knew not why. Over and over again she lived through this, her inner miko battling with the darkness that threatened to overtake her and drag her to hell. But Kagome was too strong and her light too bright for it to be taken so easily. And so she fought back and forth against this darkness that threatened to steal her away.

She could not give up.

_Back in the village..._

She had not yet awaken and was lying on a mat in Kaede's hut in a deep slumber. Inuyasha refused to leave her side unless Kaede needed him to collect water or firewood. He would hold her hand as she lay there comforting her when she would twitch and shudder in pain, sometimes a soft wail leaving her lips. He knew she was still fighting to stay alive. It pained him that he had put her in this state. Guilt nagged at his heart, Myoga's words of warning like nails on a chalkboard. It was his fault. He had known the risks in moving forward with Kagome and yet he had allowed himself to cave in to his primal instincts and take her. Ears flattened against his head he gently nuzzled the still sleeping woman. His eyes glowed molten amber, remorse and pain deep in them.

Slowly over time her skin regained the soft tint of color as her body began the long process of healing itself. Inuyasha knew the emotional healing, which had yet to begin, would take much longer than the physical. Often sitting there he would wonder what she would think of him when she woke. Would she still love him or would there be fear and hate in her eyes when she looked at him? The thought made his ears twitch and he crouched bringing his body inwards to itself.

'_It doesn't matter, all that matters is that she recovers from this.'_

"Kaede, how much longer till she will wake up?" Inuyasha said gruffly to the old woman when she walked in carrying a basket.

"Patience Inuyasha, this girl has been through an ordeal, she needs to heal herself inwardly as well as physically."

There was a silence between them, not an uncomfortable one as the old woman sat down, but one between two old friends. Once again Inuyasha was grateful it was only Kaede who had been here and that Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were all away taking care of other things. Kaede began sorting the herbs, "Inuyasha can ye tell me what happened that night?" Her voice was soft. She had avoided asking the hanyou about it understanding the pain that he was in, but it had been a few days and she needed to understand what kind of pain Kagome would be in when she awoke.

He turned his head away looking out the door, "I don't know. We were together and talking and-" a hint of red spread across his cheeks at the thought of what else they were doing, but Kaede only nodded for him to continue, "Then I woke up and I couldn't remember anything. Kagome wasn't with me, so I looked and then I found her." The last part he barely choked out.

"Do ye know who attacked the both of you?" She was still sorting herbs not looking at Inuyasha.

He hesitated briefly, he knew, but he couldn't say. "No, I don't. Fuck they must've knocked me out and then attacked Kagome." Shame clawed at him at the lie. _'How dare you lie about that! How will you be able to face yourself if you can't admit what you did to the woman you love!' _His thoughts battled against him, but he mentally hissed them away clenching his fists. He couldn't tell. He wasn't ready yet to face the consequences of his actions.

"I see." Kaede didn't push the topic any longer. "Here, Inuyasha, help an old woman and grind these, my hands have been hurting lately", she said handing him a bowl filled with herbs.

With a sharp nod he grabbed the bowl, but kept his gaze on the setting sun bleeding red into the blue sky distantly thinking of how Kagome had watched as red had bled into gold.

_Five days after the incident…_

Kagome raised her arms pushing back pink against the blackness threatening to swallow her. "You will not have me!" she screamed at the mass firing an even brighter surge of pink light at the thing.

It cackled at her, "Are you sure you really want to go back? There is only pain for you there." It struck at her with a black tendril scratching her arm. It should've hurt, but this wasn't real, she was battling with her mind. Kagome knew this and yet its words had struck her.

"Shut up! I have to go back! Inuyasha needs me!" She screamed the last part sending a ball of pink after the monster.

"Bitch, you know nothing. Inuyasha doesn't need you. In fact the things I could tell you would ruin your little pure heart…" Kagome's heart clenched and her head seared with an intense pain making her fall to her knees. Something was blocking her and protecting her from something terrible. If only she could remember, but there was nothing there. The dark mass laughed a hideously evil cackle that shook her bones as it overtook her small frame enveloping her in darkness.

"You stand no chance against me. Give in, there is nothing, but pain there. Come to hell, leave this world behind", strong tendrils grabbed at her and all she could see and breathe was this darkness. Her eyelids felt heavy and her breathing slowed as her brain became cloudy. Maybe she should just give in; she was so tired of fighting…

'_Kagome, I love you.'_

His voice was like a beacon of light in the darkness. A huge pink mass exploded from her chest completely shredding the darkness from around her.

"NO! I. Will. Go. Back!" With each word she thrust another burst of pink forcing the darkness from her.

It cackled and bowed whatever seemed to be its head, "As you wish little miko. But I have a feeling I will be seeing you soon", its shape swiftly drifting away. Pink light once again enveloped her and filled her body and soul lifting her away from this grim place towards a warmer light. She couldn't help herself from wondering what it had been meant earlier, but that thought quickly left her mind at the thought of finally leaving this terrible place.

With that Kagome came back the sound of its ear splitting laugh echoing in her ears.

Inuyasha heard the rustling and his eyes went wide. Kagome was at last waking up. Anticipation filled him as her body shifted and she groaned heavily against the fogginess surrounding her mind. She was still groggy and could barely move. He reached out a clawed hand to help her.

He could hold her in his arms again. He could-

But then suddenly fear hit him and took over his mind his hand swiftly retreating from her moving figure. Her eyes, no, he couldn't stay. He had to leave. He couldn't see her look at him like that. Not after everything. He couldn't see that. Swiftly Inuyasha fled the hut, but not before shouting to Kaede that Kagome was waking up.

"Oi! Old hag, Kagome is moving!"

"Inuyasha where are ye going?" she shouted at him, but his red figure had already disappeared in the forest. Confused she hurried towards the hut to help Kagome hoping he was leaving to go hunt, but her heart whispered otherwise.

He flew through the woods guilt, shame, pain, sadness, and everything terrible filtering through him. He couldn't run fast enough to escape them. They seemed to follow him haunting his very being. Inuyasha couldn't bear to see her look at him with those big brown eyes filled with hurt and fear at the pain he had inflicted upon her. He had to get away. But it was wrong to run. His heart screamed at him to return, even his youkai growled in anger at him leaving his mate. His mate. The words rang in his head making him twinge with regret. But this was the only way. He had no choice. Ears flat against his head he continued to flee a small bubble of cowardice forming in his heart, but he quickly shoved it away.

He had to leave, right? He had hurt her; fuck he had nearly killed her! How could he stay with her? How fucked up would he have to be to do that to her. If he left maybe she had a chance to move on. If he left maybe she would have a chance to be happy with someone who hadn't hurt her and maimed her body. If he left- he couldn't think anymore. With each step away his inner youkai howled louder and louder, _'Mate, return to her! Return to her!'_ but he quieted it. It was his demon's fault that she was so hurt.

He had been holding them back, but let the tears now drift down his cheeks flying into the wind as he pushed himself faster.

'_Kagome will be happier without me. I will only remind her of the pain I caused her. I had to leave. I had to.'_ Keep trying to convince yourself of that he thought chuckling to himself hollowly. Inuyasha knew he was cursed and he was a monster. He was a hanyou, a low hanyou that couldn't control himself. He didn't deserve Kagome. She deserved so much better than him. He couldn't be with her. The confliction of the two fought back and forth against each other in his mind making his head hurt and a deep pain settle in his stomach.

'_Go Back!'_ his youkai growled at him. But Inuyasha refused, he couldn't do that.

Suddenly he felt a searing pain in his heart that carried throughout his body making him trip over his feet and fly across the ground landing in a heap of red and silver. Doubled over on the dirt floor he ripped at his hair trying to escape the pain deep within his chest. _'What is happening to me?!' _he thought as the pain only escalated. It hurt so badly like someone was stabbing him over and over again, but from within. He screamed a feral howl falling over in pain. Black spots danced over his eyes and he gladly welcomed the numbing darkness.

_In the hut…_

Kagome's eyes opened and she sat up vaguely remembering staring into golden ones. He had been here? She tried to sit up, but an intense pain shot through her body. She grabbed her ribs wheezing suddenly instead of breathing. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes with the immense pain wracking her body in shock waves. She felt as if she had fallen from a cliff, been dragged through the woods, and then trampled on and then even more that someone had stabbed her body a couple of times.

Kaede came bustling into the hut her eyes wide with joy, "Kagome child ye have finally awakened." She grabbed a cup of water and handed it to the still coughing girl.

Drinking hurt too, but at least the coolness felt good against her raw throat. When she had finally steadied herself she whispered, "Kaede… w-what happened?"

Her head spun from the sheer amount of energy it took to talk. She fell back against the mat deciding to sit still for a moment.

"Ye don't remember anything Kagome?" Kaede asked inquiringly.

Kagome bit her lip trying to remember, but that same pain seared through her head making her wince. All she could remember was Inuyasha and her together and then nothing, but red. She remembered a lot of red and everywhere, but that was all. Shaking her head she whispered, "No I don't, do you know what happened? Where is Inuyasha? Is he ok?" Her heart clenched at the thought that he could be hurt.

"Strange. Inuyasha didn't remember either, he said that a youkai must've attacked him from behind knocking him out and then attacked you." She didn't want to indulge her theory with the girl knowing the information could send her spiraling back into the deep coma she had just woken from.

Kagome looked down at her hands noticing the heavy scarring running across her arms. Lifting the blanket she followed the jagged white lines travelling down her body leaving no part of her untouched. Her eyes deepened with the realization that she would carry these scars for the rest of her life. "Is my face, Kaede, the same as my body?"

"Ye have one scar on ye temple." Kagome placed a hand upon her face and sure enough felt the raised line running down her left side and across to her cheek. Leaning back she looked at the ceiling wondering who could have done this, who hated her this much? Or hated Inuyasha?

Her heart skipped a beat. If she was this injured he must be too! "Kaede where is Inuyasha? Is he ok?!" she cried out too loud for her throat though making her erupt into a coughing fit. Kaede handed her another cup of water and helped the young girl to drink it.

"He is alright. He was worried sick about ye, didn't leave your side the entire time. I don't know where he is though." Again Kaede didn't mention to the girl that she had seen him running into the woods as if he was fleeing the scene. _'Inuyasha ye had better not be leaving Kagome and running from ye mistake.'_ However, her instinct told her that was exactly what he was doing.

Warmth filled Kagome knowing that Inuyasha was ok, but it hurt him not being there. She could have sworn she had woken to his golden eyes staring at hers. She shuddered with the intensity of those molten pools remembering the hurt radiating within them. _'He was here I know he was.'_ But she had been so confused when she first woke up that maybe she was imagining things.

"Are you hungry?"

Kagome's stomach growled in response, "I guess I am," she laughed a small laugh.

"Kagome tell me child what do ye remember?" Kaede asked spooning soup into a bowl for her to eat. Eagerly the young girl took the steaming bowl nodding her she winced, her wrist was hurting badly.

"It was broken during whatever happened to ye."

Rubbing her arm Kagome laid the bowl down on the ground and ate that way.

Lifting a spoon she whispered, "I remember Inuyasha and I were together and then red. A lot of it. I don't remember where it came from though." She shrugged her shoulders and sipped the soup. After all, she had been attacked by youkai before and this was no different. But something made her stop before her next spoonful and instinctively she knew something was. Something had happened in that clearing with Inuyasha, something that her mind didn't want to remember or maybe couldn't. _"Are you sure you really want to go back? There is only pain for you there."_ The cackle echoed in her head making her shiver.

"I will see if I can remember anything else." Kaede nodded her head to the girl and sat back waiting.

Setting her spoon down Kagome closed her eyes and thought back to that night. Inuyasha had been so sweet to her, the memory of him bringing a smile to her lips. They had kissed and gone even further. She remembered the feeling of them together and the wholeness it had brought her as if they were made for each other. She remembered the immense love she felt for him that night and the love she had seen in his eyes. A giant swelling built in her chest as she tried to remember more and then pain erupted through her head and her body. Electric shot through her limbs as red flashed across her eyes and pain cascaded inside of her. She was screaming and screaming her throat raw, but it wouldn't stop. The pain flowed down her trickling out in red. Red swam across her, through her, and in front of her. She was drowning it, choking on it. She could taste the salty thickness of it inside her mouth. Suddenly she fell into blackness.

**Please keep reviewing! Let me know what you think, if you like something, don't like something, what you think will happen next. Thank you to everyone who reads and for the reviews!**


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